Today’s Sunday, 24th july, 2005.. The song playing now.. is “Duan Dian” by Hins.. Zhang Jing Xuan.. It’s probably the only song that I am really able to feel with it.. it was the first song, that made me cry.. on my 17th birthday, 23/11/2004. what a year.. why am I like that. I must always lose something before I realize it’s importance to me. That is why, some of my friends say I am a flirt, that I “dun miss the water until it’s gone”. I never knew that I would cry, you know. Things haven’t been going well for me for the past week. Today, being the last day of this week. Will mark the end of my torture, I hope. Miss Fenton, my “consumer behaviour” lecturer is going off already, so sad.. I think she’s facing some kind of problem with her daughter ba.. after all she’s only four years old. Guess it’s like what people always say.. “good education” can only start from young. Only regretting ten years later will not help in anything… dunno what’s the problem with me.. I think I haven’t really got over my ex ba.. I’m still thinking of her leh.. why is it like that? I thought everything was over when we broke up? Didn’t know the repercussion of the break-up would last for so long. Why is this thing happening to me? Why? Went back for st. john’s yesterday, saw very little sec ones present for the event held yesterday, quite disappointed. but those who came were really enthusiastic, they enjoyed themselves. I joined them for the first game, but in the end I cannot walk, because I sprained my ankle on Wednesday. The wound was about to heal, then I injured it again. Hai.. well, but after the event for st. john, which is the “urban” hiking, we went to jing ying’s house for BBQ.. same thing again, I was barbequing away while the rest just ate whatever was cooked.. haha, but quite happy la, some of them still remembered my name.. I thought they won’t remember my name.. because I haven’t really been interacting with them, u see. Hehe. .havne’t msg-ed jia min for some time le.. but dunno whether she’ll reply anot.. afterall it’s Sunday, dunno she’ll go out and “cheong” anot.. hee. I cannot sia.. haven’t reach 18 yet.. anyway.. i can predict that I am not those people who will go “cheong-ing”, even though when I am 18 or older.. haha.. today wanna go and buy clothes one, saw the shop on a magazine, then when I went there today, it was closed.. hai.. kinda disappointed, but I need to buy surfer shorts! Need it for my chalet coming on this Wednesday, mean while, training up my body, hope I won’t look too ugly on the beach.. hehe..
And.. I apologise for all the foul language I used for the last blog entry.. hehe..
Things just ain’t going right for me this week. This is the last week of the term and I’m suffering. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My freaking brother is freaking irritating. What the freak men. I’m freaking fed up now. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why is heaven doin this to me? I’m suffering, you know, I’m suffering. What the fuck. Things are so fucked up for me now. I apologise for the vulgar language. But I’m really fed up. Why must he do this to me?! I’m suffering from schizophrenia now. He is doin all the crazy things and I’m bearing all the consequences. What the fuck! He can just go fcuk himself! Super fed up. I wish I could throw a chair at him and just kill him. I wish I can stab him with a knife! What the fuck! He is the worst person I’ve ever came across! What the fuck! People also have brothers and sisters, why is mine like that! I’ve just scolded him using vulgar language just now! What the fuck. In front of my mother somemore. He is probably the first one that has made me swear at him in front of my mum. But he still gives that kind of LAN CHIAO face, what the fuck! I’m afraid I will kill him one day, I will!!!!
whoa! i never felt the need for writing a blog, man.. but i've been waiting for so long to write this.. i felt like a balloon that has been pumped air for the last week. felt like bursting now.. wow.. very sad.. went back to my sec sch last saturday. my sec ones are all forgetting the commands that they've learnt. what's the problem with them? anyway. that's not the main issue. the thing is that the rumour that my ex-gf got anew bf is now confirmed. it's true. wtf.. why.. hai.. feel very sad.. it's like the world is crashing down on you, u know. i've nv felt so devaststed before. i don't know why.. and i regret whatever i've done. this is probably the shortest blog i've ever written. but after writing this, i hope that i can forget whatever's not happy and leave my old self behind. just like what they said in the Nike advertisement. "leave your old self behind", "reincarnate now" i think what i needmost now is not reincarnation, but rather, a brain-wash. clear my brain of the memories i have with my ex. what's the problem with me? i thought i've gotten over her. but the fact now doesn't seem to be the case. whatever it is, time can only run forward. there's no way of turning back now. fine. look forward, shen yang.. jia you.. u'll make it.. i have faith in myself. forget about her.
hey, man.. i've disappeared from the blogging world for almost 2 weeks.. meanwhile, lots of things happened.. my Organisational management CA is over, met my last ex-gf, my presentation for Mass Media Research (MMR) is also over, London was elected the 2012 Olympic city, then it got bombed, many many things happened.. and i saw the ayumi-look-alike again! anyway, today's wednesday, now it's 1.18pm. i keep telling myself to not be like the others who write things like "i just woke up, i drank milo, ate Nasi Lemak" in my blog, but i guess when u're desperate for things to write in your blog, u'll start to write things like that too. I've just submitted my Feature Writing article yesterday, i won't say it's perfect, but at least i've put my heart and soul into it, u noe. well, in case u didn't know, the topic that i wrote on was the "Ah Beng" culture nowadays, then i talked about myself, how i was called an Ah Beng during the past few years and things.. mmm.. talking about being an Ah Beng, i wasn't really one in fact, because i have no gangs, u noe. and i think gangsters are stupid, u noe. stupid as in not that stupid, u noe, but just stupid. anyway, i'll be having my GEMs class tomorrow, i'll be seeing that teacher again, doing the same mathematical questions again. oh! i haven't met up with my team mates for the project discussion! but i guess we'll be able to get it done in due time. hey, my friend, Yuan Li bought a Zen Neon last saturday, so good right.. 300 solid dollars, man. how the hell am i going to get so much money, huh. sad. but the good thing is i've got myself a thumb drive! $30.. hehe ten times sheaper than my friend's Neon. but i'm still a bit envious la.. but anyway.. haven't bought a thumb drive before, so i'm quite happy. it's with a nice design, u noe.. it doesn't come with a cap, but it swivels.. means u just have to turn the cap around. i like the design, it's quite nice. i've also mailed the warranty card. not bad. so far so good.. the design's good, the functions are also quite good.. oh ya, the LSC (legal systems and contracts) tutorial and lecture is cancelled for this Friday! yay! feel like not coming to school and go back to Kranji, you noe.. haven't saw my sec ones for a long time already. wonder how they're doing. wanna go back and see them. haha.. wonder if they've improved. bet they'll be so shocked to see me. but i think i'll go for the camp in November ba.. how time flies, man.. it's high time i prepare myself for the camp too. very tough for this year, i heard. things haven't got better everytime. every year there'll be a meeting for the camp and things always don't work out. whatever we asked for, we'll usually NOT get it. i wonder why. is it because our suggestions are impractical? or are the officers simply unwilling to change for the better? i wonder. things would have turned out differently if they are more willing to give in to us, u noe. i bet the camp would be so much better. lesser punishment. lesser haste, better time management, better discipline. and the most important of all, FUN! oh my goodness. why are the old fogeys always unwilling to give way to the newbies? is all the democracy fake? why? however things are still not that bad, because i am enjoying this week. not much of a haste because there's nothing really important this week. and there's no CA tml! i'm so happy! haha.. oh ya! got to go and do my Feature writing's 100 story ideas already.. i'll update my blog the next time when i've things to tell.. mean while..
(psst! this pic was taken when i was trying on the clothes, see the price tag? =D)
***hey, but i eventually bought it, ok..***
this is Shen Yang checking out..
Can love between an older woman and younger man survive? I’ve been telling others that I do not like girls who are older than me.. but what’s getting into me? I’ve been thinking about this “ayumi-look-alike” which I mentioned earlier.. I dunno what’s wrong with me leh.. why.. is it really like what the others say, that “when you like a person, everything else does not matter anymore…” ? how come I can’t get her out of my head? And I saw Jolin at West Mall today… for those who does not know who she is, she is my ex-girlfriend, well, though she still looks like an ah lian, there is something about her that has changed.. even though we did not talk much, I know she still has feelings for me… but it is the problem with me… I can’t devote myself into another relationship I dunno what’s wrong, but I think even when I have a girlfriend, it will most likely be a flirt or something. I hope to get a girlfriend before I get into NS, becoz I think it’s rather pathetic to book out from a camp and have nobody wearing a skirt, smiling at you and waiting for you…? My god.. is getting attached really important? I dunno how leh.. but see see first la.. tonight call Jolin ba.. dunno if I have the time to do so.. and the problem is I dunno if I’ve got the guts to do so.. Jolin just broke up with her “boyfriend” last week.. I’ve told her not to get herself attached anymore.. all the guys will just flirt with her and then dump her.. my god.. if she keeps on going on like this, she’ll get herself pregnant one day.. being an extrovert, she is cheerful and out-going… but I’m really worried for her… anyway.. haven’t contacted Jia Min for sometime also.. wonder how she’s doin.. and went “kopi-ing” yesterday night, saw Wan Qi, Iris and Grace there, chatting with each other.. haha.. being the playful boy I am, I jumped next to Wan Qi and she was so surprised.. haha.. Grace had cut her hair short and she looked so different.. Iris also changed a lot.. look very different without her glasses.. heard Iris got retained.. wonder how’s she coping with her studies la.. and Sock Ruan really got married and gave birth to a daughter. Hope eveything’s fine with her. Kenneth also confirmed this when he said that he sold a pram to Sock Ruan personally.. just wish that her husband will treat her sincerely, and love her till the last days of their lives and her baby daughter will grow up in a happy family. I can’t imagine myself being a father though. Wonder how she’s coping with motherhood. Oh ya, just bought a cleanser today, so paiseh.. was searching for the Nivea facial cleanser and then a girl in short skirt was also searching for something in front of the cleanser that I was looking for… then she bend forward la.. of course being the shy guy, I walked away lor.. and waited outside of the glass panel of the store for her to get away from the shelf la… so eventually she went away, so I went into the store again. But I think heaven is playing a trick on me, that girl came out of nowhere again, and took some more stuffs from the same shelf. I almost went crazy.. she’s BEAUTIFUL!!! And the best of all, she’s tanned. You know, I’ve got a “thing” for girls with dark complexion.. haha… then she turned around and looked at me and walked off.. I think my expression was kind of perverted of something, cause she looked at me as though she saw a pervert. Anyway.. I still bought the cleanser at long last. Haha.. I must be getting crazy, thinking about girls all the time.. anyway.. miss my “ayumi-look-alike”.. I wonder when I’ll ever see her again after she graduate from SP.. anyway, I’ll just cherish whatever “time” I have “with her” ba.. =D
