Haha.. just heard a verse from the TV, when a young guy meets a pretty lady, he thinks, “I must get this girl”. But for an older guy, when he meets a pretty lady, he thinks, “it’s time to buy a house”
In this modern time and age, what is to be considered rich or poor? what exactly defines rich or poor?
If you are poor and I give you a thousand dollars, would you consider yourself as rich?
If I have no job now and I get a job offer to earn $50 and I really get the pay, I can pay for a part of the new MP3 player that I want to buy. Am I considered to be rich?
If I already have a terrace house, but I cannot feel contented with what I have in life, am I still rich? If I only have a few good friends whom I can really talk to, am I still rich?
Conclusion: being rich physically is not enough; you also must be “mentally” rich. However, capitalism has infiltrated into the society today. Being mentally rich is not enough. You have to be physically rich, better if you can have both. But “God” is fair. I mean, the Chinese Gods -------- Gods doesn’t always have to mean Jesus. GET THIS RIGHT!!!
You can’t be rich. Neither can you be poor, both mentally and physically.
If I can only choose one, I would pick none.
Because all I want, is ----------- you. <= you know who you are.
Time: 1:00 a.m.
Date: 05 March 2006
Venue: home
There are a lot of things in life we cannot force, that includes the perceptions, attitudes and behaviours of others.
Though changing their mindset is beyond our control, there are still certain things that we can do to reduce the negative impact and influence their thinking positively.
It about knowing how people think, why did they think that way and how we can influence their thinking positively.
This is exactly what PR is all about. But who in this world actually knows what is PR? Who can define it in layman’s term, so everybody can understand its importance.
For many spoon-fed babies, all they need to do, is to say, “I want this this this, I want that that that” and the things will be given to them or done up nicely for them. this is something I’m deadly against, overly-protective parents.
Maybe it is easy to look at things and pass remarks like this from an outsider’s point of view, but I’ve been telling myself, if ever one day my child gets caned or punished in school, I will call up the school, not to confront the teachers who did it, but to thank them. because if my child has done something really nasty that he or she deserves caning, then I would really thank the teachers for helping me shape up his or her discipline. Everything in life has to be of a certain discipline and commitment. I’ll give a few examples. Every morning, all of us fight the “sleeping bug” so we can wake up on time. Then we rush ourselves to squeeze into every single train that we can catch, even though there is only space for half of your body size. You try to push everybody in. Then only to realize everybody gives you that sickening look and make the “TSK TSK” sound. This really embarrasses you. You wish that you could just dig a hole and hide your bright-red flushed face inside.
But who can help it?
This are the realities of life. Who would want to squeeze a train, only to bring discomfort to themselves and the other passengers? Who would not want to drive to work everyday if they can afford it?
So if you are one of the people who always “TSK TSK TSK” at others, think about yourself. They are trying to get to work on time, just like you and me. I believe none of us would want to be late.
Ya, so coming back, I went back for SJ training again today. As in I meant 04 March 2006. then I heard to the argument that Vincent and Yan Hsiang had.
So I decided to hold a mini survey session for them to speak their minds. Through the sharing and criticizing of one another, I think they more or less have aired their views. They themselves also know how much weight they have. So they were fully aware that some of the “screw-ups” in SJ is due to their fault.
But they have raised one very important point. That is SJ is not really united, because of one thing:
Officers are biased.
They even name some of the officers. One of them, unfortunately, is Kenneth. Of course I stood up for him. But not in a very obvious way.
But they know the exact reasons why we are biased.
Simply put, “if a cadet comes for training and show enthusiasm, it would be very hard not to notice him/her.”
And if you apply this rule to a cadet who portrays a negative personality, it would be, “if you are not interested in SJ, everything you do, you’ll do it half-heartedly and people will still notice you and remembers you, even. But for the wrong things you’ve done”
So when it comes to a time where a character reference or a recommendation for promotions or competitions, your name would naturally not be there if you haven’t been putting in effort in normal training. So how can an officer still be as objective? It’s impossible.
Once you qualify a person as “shit” then most likely when you see the person, you think of shit, when you see shit, you think of that person. Simple and easy.
But overall, I believe in most officers as not being biased, including Kenneth and Sir Derrick. I won’t say I’m not biased, but I’m trying my best to stay objective in every matter that I’m dealing with.
Just a quote to end off,
“When faced with outsiders, we unite together, putting on a strong front, letting them think that our hearts beat as one. But when there is no one to gang up against, you form groups. And the bigger groups will discriminate against the smaller groups. When the world gets smaller and smaller, you will realise, the last one left to criticise and discriminate, is yourself.”
It’s 11.08p.m. now. On a Friday night, 03 march 2006 is the date on my computer.
Song playing: “Hen Xiang Ni” by Zhang Zhi Cheng.
“ni zai na li” (where are you) first line.
Where are u? I’ve been asking myself. I do not know. It’s been very long since the “accident” happened. I’ve tried moving on. But I kept reminiscing. About the past. Memories about the fateful day kept coming back to me.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I sent the wrong sms to shixian. Maybe… maybe…
About a few weeks just before her Chinese O level oral. She came over to my house. Then I asked her to practice, by reading aloud to me. I’m such a bastard. Knowing that she tried her best, I still kind of scolded her. Seeing that her eyes are red, I told myself, I shouldn’t be soft-hearted. So I continued to criticise her. I really felt like going over and give her a hug. Really.
It was a few months before her o levels, around July, I remembered. She was telling me that she did not do well in her English exams. And I know, that she was never really good in her English language. About that time, I had just started poly. Everything’s crashing down on me, project, deadlines, team mates problems, stress was piling up. And I think even before all these, the distance between xian and me was opening up. Due to work.
Afterall 6 months of holidays, I hardly seen her. But I still made it a point to contact her every night. At the very least, sent a good night msg, with a gd night kiss. But I know she needed something more than just a msg. she needs companionship. Silly me.
At around the same time, I discovered that my hearing abilities was declining. And the doctor told me, I’m running a risk of going deaf soon, due to some injury I had in the ear drum. Maybe I shouted too much during work, because the doctor say, even though shouting affects the throat, the ears also suffer as well.
Can you believe it?! I’M ACTUALLY GOING DEAF!!
Everything was in a bad shape and there was nothing I could do. School work is really tiring me out. Reality is setting in. I tried to hide my fatigue from her. But I guess it still showed.
I was more worried about her studies more than my school work. I’m afraid she cannot make it for her O levels. I’m afraid she couldn’t take the stress. I know we are drawing further and further apart. I know our relationship was putting a very big strain on her.
It was some day in July when I sent that fateful message, “I think you should concentrate more on your studies” then I sent the message. I didn’t bothered to elaborate much. But it was also this message that made her think I wanted to break-up.
I thought she could understand what I meant but she didn’t. Why couldn’t she understand me? Did she think that whatever we have went through for the past 2 years and a half years was for nothing?! Did she think I was toying her feelings? We’ve went through so many hardships, didn’t we? We even faced objections from our parents, but didn’t we all overcame it in the end? Why did she think that way? Why couldn’t she ask me? I didn’t say I wanted to break-up! I won’t! I’ve even made plans that once I’m out of the army, I would get a job. And when I can afford it, I’ll buy a house and we can get married! I’ve planned everything! I really wanted to spent the rest of my life with her!
Tears are welling up in my eyes now as I think about it.
Haha, what a joke! All it took was just a misunderstanding. She really thought that I’m giving up on our relationship. Maybe I cannot provide her with the security she wants. I don’t know. I really don’t. This is the lady whom I have been together with for so long, whom I thought I really knew, but I was wrong, totally. But I’ve never hated her. Because if she feels that leaving me is the best thing to do, I’d still wish the best for her. I really do.
Tomorrow is a Saturday. I wish I could see her again. I’ve written a testimonial for her, asking her to read this blog. I wonder if she will approve. I wonder if she will read this. Maybe it’s all crap to her.
My feelings for her has never changed and most likely it never will. I don’t want to pester her. I’m just voicing out my feelings. Sir Derrick also say I’m very direct in doing this, but I think I’m not. I’m just airing all thoughts and feelings.
The piece of tissue paper in front of me is wet thoroughly now and I don’t wish to continue this anymore…
张智成-很想你很想你
你在哪里?这些年来如意不如意?还快乐?还单纯?还美丽?时光如何对你?我在这里人海中的一座岛屿很平静风平浪静只除了深夜里回忆会疯狂来袭我很想你你知道吗如果可以就让我再见你美好微笑清澈眼睛好确定那持离只毁了我一个而已我很想你听见了吗? woo~这是唯一我无解的困境那些过去不肯过去不管我后来遇见多少人只能叹息都不是你我只想爱你我在哪里?你会不会偶尔好奇?有没有曾经怀疑?我说我会忘记只是种好意
